i asked for you...

i asked for you… (by deav)
Rio, Dez 2005
(just lyrics)

like noodles, for tomato sauce
like a wagon, for a horse

like breakfast, for orange juice
like fighting enemies, for a truce

like ham, for scrambled eggs
like mini skirt, for long legs

like rice, for black beans
like sunglasses, for sunbeams

like coffee, for a sugar spoon
like midnight asks for noon

like fruit ask to be ripe
like handwriting, to be typed

like blue skies, for white clouds
like the silent, for crying out loud

like a sunset, for an eye
like a drunk man, for the rye

like a dark night, for the moon
like never asks for soon

like the dawn asks for the morn
like the draught asks for a storm

like the ocean, for a shore
like the shallow, for a core

like a boat, for the adrift
like the current, for a shift

like the wave asks for the tide
like a secret, no more hide

like the fire asks for wood
like the wet hair, for a hood

like a curtain, for a breeze
like a lemon, for a squeeze

like a room asks for a view
like the old, to be new

like a cat asks for milk
like a princess, for the silk

like the bear asks for a cave
like the beard asks for a shave

like a flower, for a bee
like the blind man, to see

like a football, for a kick
like the remedy, for the sick

like the aim asks for an arrow
like the wire, for the sparrow

like garbage, for a trash can
like the fallen one, for a hand

like clutter asks for a box
like cold feet, for socks

like a cigarette, for a lighter
like boxing gloves, for a fighter

like a lamp, to be switched on
like a wanderer, to get home

like a clock asks for the wind
like thoughts ask for the mind

like a mail box, for letters
like the clueless, for what matters

like the wreck asks for the mend
like confusion, to understand

like chains, to be unlocked
like doors, to be unlocked

like the soap, for the bubble
like the bully asks for trouble

like the needle, for the sew
like the devil, for the soul

like a book asks for a reader
like the cattle for a breeder

like the story, for a teller
like the merchandise, for a seller

like a poem, for a rhyme
like the seasoning, for thyme

like a sentence, for a verb
like hot water, for the herb

like paper, for a pen
like nine asks for ten

like a guitar asks for Mike
like a crooner, for a mic

like feet ask for a dance
like fact, for circumstance

like the heart asks for a pace
like the gambler, for a race

like the skin asks for a touch
like little asks for much

like the nose, for a sweet scent
like desire, for consent

like the ear, for a song
like the old, to be young

like the tongue asks for taste
like impatience asks for haste

like lips ask for a kiss
like the dreamer asks for bliss

like tears ask to be cried
like tears ask to be dried

like a finger, for a ring
like nothing, for anything

like arms, for an embrace
like a bride asks for lace

like a womb asks for a child
like a beast asks to be wild

like the thirsty one, for quench
like the rope asks for a wrench

like the hungry, for a meal
like illusion, to be real

like the tired asks for rest
like the bird asks for a nest

like the lost, to be found
like the square, to be round

like the crawler, to grow wings
like winter asks for spring

like the pupil, for education
like the doubt, for explanation

like the prisoner, for freedom
like the acolyte for wisdom

like the madman asks for peace
like the aunt asks for a niece

like the vampire asks for blood
like the stream, for the flood

like a poet, for a muse,
like the tool, for some use

like the dead ask for rebirth
like the aliens, for the earth

like an angel, to be human
like a girl, to be a woman

like a lover, to be loved back
like a necklace, for a neck

like a problem, for solution
like the innocent, for absolution

like the pain asks to cease
like the sufferer, for release

like darkness asks for light
like wrong asks to be right

like the hopeless asks for hope
like a loser, for a way to cope

like a mistake, for forgiveness
like the bitter, for sweetness

like sadness, for a laughter
like now asks for after

like the lie asks to be true
that’s how i asked for you…

* * *

bad news

well, i had one of the most humiliating days at work today. my boss associated my low productivity at work to my constant visits to the internet. although he knows about my current situation, the depression, the panic attacks, the medical leave a couple of months ago, and in spite of my explanation, that the internet is not the cause of my low performance, but an attempt to solve the problem, by having somewhere to go to when my head refuses to think, he asked if i wanted to keep on working in the department, if my doctor could arrange another leave (the answer to that being, not now, that i`m getting better... ironic) and if i could compromise with some date to improve my performance. as if i could predict when i`ll be feeling well... so, no more internet at work. that means no internet ever, because i still don`t have a computer at home. maybe a couple of times a week, at the mall, like right now. together with all the shit i`ve been getting lately, i find myself again in this pathetic situation, that seems to be this unbreakable pattern in my life, no matter how hard i try to delete it. and, believe, i try. and succeed, specially in the last couple of years. only i`m too tired this time, as i`ve never been before. with all the good things that i had the chance to enjoy, i guess now happiness only makes it hurt more...

(?) - puppet of fate

puppet of fate (by deav)
Rio, Dez 2005
(just lyrics)

life has a funny way
of teaching you, making you smart
life has this wicked way
of making you lose from the start

right when you’re feeling high
life will try to bring you low
a happy moment, a sigh
you know, will have to go

life demands you to give
but it’s not very good at giving
if to hope is to almost live
then i guess i’m almost living

life has its cruel ways
if it wants you alone
it makes sure no friend stays
you look around and they’re gone

life invites to a waiting room
i sit and watch from the outside
my tears will stop to flow soon
as i wait for the next tide

hide my tears, hold back the shout
though it’s hard, i understand
i’ll be here reaching out
till life offers a helping hand

but i may play on life a trick
if it reaches out too late
i may jump out, for i’m sick
of being a puppet of fate

* * *

wave song

wave song (by deav)
Rio, Dez 2005
(just lyrics)

i was flowing with the tides
the full moon shining above
as i washed upon the shore
you weren't there anymore

i watched you turn away
as i reached out for your heart
now weak, i fear the stone
my love has proved me wrong

i am dark, you chose the light
i'm too deep, you chose to float
i am death, you chose to live
what to you i cannot give

though your tears are part of me
you dive in another stream
faster the earth should spin
to spill me out into nothing

for i wish to stop the flow
go deep, forget the shore
for the moon i cannot bear
at the star i cannot stare

let me dry without you...

* * *

for an angel - last song

last song (by deav)
Rio, Dez 2005
(for an angel – just lyrics)

well… the moment i’ve feared the most
has finally met me half-way
the wise man spoke the truth
now i hear, on the floor where i lay

i can’t deny, i saw it coming
but it don’t make it hurt any less
i wonder, will i find a way
to live again in hopelessness?

what do i do with the empty nights?
what do i do with the dreamless sleep?
how do i bring to darkness the light?
how do i dry the tears that i weep?

this is the last song
that i’ll write about you
though i may be wrong
that’s all i can do
for now…

while life happens all around
i sit here naked and numb
i can’t believe, it’s just too soon
what else could i have done?

it’s ironic, i can tell
that the time i used to fight
will be the only help for me
maybe again i’ll see the light

what do i do with the scream in my throat?
what do i do with the will not to be?
how do i sip from this sea where i float?
how do i fix this wreck that is me?

this was the last song
that i wrote about you
it’s such an ugly song
but that’s all i can do
for now…

* * *