demo # I

i finally got some songs recorded! the universe conspired in my favor (i'm eternally grateful): there were the carnival holidays, Mauro (my brother-in-law) was testing a Roland VS 880 until the end of th month, so three days of recording, ten songs, masterization next saturday, demo cd in my hands next monday. isn't it absofuckinlutely great? i was worried about a lot of things: that i would record them, in the first place, exposing myself, making it permanent, not just words in the wind, sang on the couch in the living room; that i would sound like Mickey Mouse, my voice was always high pitch (i used to be a soprano), but since the awakening, and listening to Ed Vedder on a daily basis, and a lot of blues and a lot of punk, my voice lowered a lot, and, thank the Goddess, i sound like a human being and an adult female :)) (i hope...). i'm buying the Roland (second hand...), the first achievement of my home studio/indie record company. it's such an amazing experience to actually witness a dream coming true right in front of your eyes... specially if it's your own dream!

running in slow motion

two more weeks until i'm free from the coordination position. at least one is a half week because of the carnival holidays. not that i'm too stressed, i'm learning how to handle it, but i'm more stressed than i like to be. and the result is writer's block, no song for a couple of months now, just pieces and bits of lyrics and melodies. i'm not completely frustrated because the RM Holiday Project is going fine, i've been enjoying pleasant hours planning, cutting, gluing, sewing and even weaving tiny little things to go on my page. i'm really proud of my little tree house and all the items that go inside, especially the tiny carpet and and the tiny songbooks you can actually read from. i'll have to borrow a digital camera, because i intend to photograph everything before i send the page to J. the major thing yet to be done is the recording, an essencial part of the project.

the RM itself is a major relief. it seems i get to like being there more and more each day. it kind of distracts me from work... maybe too much... a habit?

ah, and i got my 10C booklet with my membership card by the beginning of January. i guess i'll have to hold back my catching up fever, because of the huge vacation. btw, reservations have been made! May 21st until July 1st!

things keep on being blue, in the Brazilian way, meaning, everything is fine, like a clear blue sky.

happy new year, happy new life

well, another cicle of life comes to an end. i've never been more filled with hope in my life before. i believe that life is now, and that today we have access to the matter for the creation of universes. today i'm happy, and i'm creating a beautiful future. and hope is feeling that my next "todays" will be as happy as or more happy than "this" today. for the first time in my life i have no fear. i may be sad, i may cry, things may change, i may lose friends and loved ones, i may get angry and nervous because of work and all, but in the neverending cicle of life there's this feeling of bliss and gratefulness for the gift of existence. i wish everyone could feel this way.

HAPPY 2005 !!!

"quem teve a idéia de cortar o tempo em fatias, a que se deu o nome de ano, foi um indivíduo genial. industrializou a esperança fazendo-a funcionar no limite da exaustão. doze meses dão para qualquer ser humano se cansar e entregar os pontos. aí entra o milagre da renovação e tudo começa outra vez com outro número e outra vontade de acreditar que daqui para adiante vai ser diferente." (Carlos Drummond de Andrade)

“who had the idea of cutting time in slices, calling it ‘year’, was a genius. turned hope into a machine and made it work until the edge of exhaustion. twelve months are enough to make any human being get tired and give up. then comes the miracle of renewal and everything begins again with another count and another will to believe that, from now on, everything will be different.”

i'll be counted in!

today is a very special day: i've just purchased my PEARL JAM TEN CLUB MEMBERSHIP! and if i'm not mistaken, today is the last due day to be entitled to receive the Xmas single! even if it's not, ok, now i'm there. at the far end of the line, at the 100th row, but i'm there! that's what i call a Xmas gift! i'm as happy as a little child, really, it's great to feel like that! 2004 turned out to be a great year too. we don't have thanksgiving day here, so i try to give thanks everyday for every little good thing that happens to me. today is a special thanksgiving day!

now i'm indifference

take the which pearl jam song are you? quiz, a product of the pearljammers community.