RM writers' prompt II

if you’re reading this now it means that i’m ... well, dead. there’s no easy way to say it. i’m sorry, this is creepy, but i had to ask my best friend to post this. the thing is (i’m sure you’re wondering) i promise i didn’t drop out of life. it must have been a lethal disease or an accident. because i didn’t even want to want to die (the puddle of mud where people who take their lives stay after death may be cozy and warm but, by now, i’ve learned to give worth to the journey of life and its place in the “big picture”). i’m probably quite mad right now, that i was taken, there was so much hope amongst the pain and so many things i’ve been dreaming to do… it’s not fair. or it is. anyway. i just want to say that i love you. “love” love, i mean. it came slowly and softly and sweet and one day it struck me, i even said it out loud! weird… i confess i was afraid. that was foolish of me, i see that now (only too late). no time to be afraid now, though. i love you deeply, madly, dearly, passionately. i love you like in music and poetry. i love you so much i want you to be happy forever. as long as forever goes. and forever is now, you know… so for what it’s worth, live each day as if it were the last (allow me to be this corny…) live everything to the end, the pain and the pleasure of it. taste it all. believe in love too, the way i do. “love is always real”. use sunscreen hehe just kidding… ok, sunscreen and condoms. remember never to allow this beautiful person you are to be chewed and swallowed (or spit out, for that matter) by this crazy world you still live in. one more moment for a little tale? well, once i was climbing a mountain and, when there were about fifty steps to the top (i wasn’t aware of that), i sat down and gave up. “no, i won’t go further, i’m too tired”. then a friend came and told me “trust me, were almost there, it’s so beautiful up there, it’s worth all the effort”. and he took my hand. and it was amazing, the view from the top. i realize i sat down again this time, fifty steps from the top where you could be. or not. ironic, huh? but i’ll never have time in this life to take my hand and lead me there. so, all i ask of you is this, don’t sit down and give up. you may be only fifty steps away, who knows? you must think i’m cruel to come from the tomb to haunt you with a phantom love. cree-py. i just hope you can forgive me, after all i’m a dead person (sorry, bad joke …) but you’re alive. so go ahead and live!

great faker

great faker (by deav)
Rio, Jul-Out 2005
(just lyrics)

never felt like this before
not true, you have
it’s the worst time of my life
you’ve had bad times before
but it’s all falling apart
no, not really, no
i feel crushed inside
just stand up and go
but i feel so weak…
you know it’s not like you say
what is it, a trick?
it’s just that little game you play

great faker
whining all the time
even though she knows it can’t break her
drinking all the wine

how come the hole in my heart?
an excuse not to start
what’s with the scorning?
you’ll feel better in the morning
but i… but i…
we can see right through you
no matter how i try
quit dragging attention to you

great faker
it’s so undivine
to blackmail your maker
just to make a rhyme
(shame on you)

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RM writers' prompt

13 Out 2005

well, here we are. don't tell me i didn't warn you. when it slowly began to turn into something else i cried, alarmed. you took the risk and dragged me with you. when the urge became too hard to bare i cried again, "release me", i begged. but you would just keep on doing your thing, regardless of me, of my dispair (i still don't know if out of innocence or wickedness, or just pure evil enjoyment, the sadist...). "beware of the poison, it all ends in poison", i whispered, breathless, while you just sucked out more and more of the remaining strength. now you can feel it, too, don't you? the bitterness, i mean. now you finally see me (i've been seeing you for a while, now...). i can tell by your disgusted look that you don't like what you see, huh? "remember when i told you? remember..." i vomit between sobs. see, you don't love me. you never did. i told you so. i told you so.

for an angel - garbage

garbage (by deav)
Rio, Out 2005
(just lyrics)

i looked around, i looked hard
should i’ve asked for you to prove?
just happenstance?
i wait for you, i wait hard
i could not find you

i watch the scented smoke in awe
think of what it’s all for
i’ll give you this much
and wonder
was it wrong to seize the day
was it wrong to fly away?

the candle burned on both sides
there’s just a few things to hide
some things to put aside

may master plan backfired
should i have set the moves
in advance?
if i intended to be wired
all the given time with you?

ashes burning on the floor
to be swept outside the door
was it too much
i wonder
i finally scared you away
any hope to save my day?

there’s nothing left to hide
i put the garbage outside
just wait for the next tide

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for an angel - from hell

from hell (by deav)
Juiz de Fora-Rio, Out 2005
(just lyrics)

there’s a moon on my back
casts my shadow ahead
in the silence as i dance
it’s you that i hear
at a distance, but i can
see nothing through the fear

i hear your voice from heaven
i’m sure it’s where you are
a kiss you send me, but then
i watch it turn into a scar

tie the rope around my neck
gently cover up my head
sent to hell, oh, should i care?
if hell is just right here
no hope to ever fly up there
a smile turned to a tear

i hear your voice from a-far
steal the sun from up above
i dance and watch the rising star
that sheds the light i call …

(why is it so hard to say?
i say, don’t say
i say, i say…)


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