(?) - in the now

in the now (by deav)
Rio, Ago-Set-Out 2004 - Mar 2005
(?)

i’ve been sleeping for a thousand years
in a bed of stone
i have visions of the hidden fears
of all the time that’s gone

i’ve been riding a night mare
through the underground fields of my soul
i've been drinking from the well of madness
that yields the seeds that i sow

i’ve been dreaming for a thousand years
of the times to come
i’ve been living on the b-side, in tears
what have i done?

when crossroads turn out to be a dead-end
i wonder
am i later than i supposed?
but things can get better
this is not a game, i’m still in the fight
i’ll ride the wave, i’ll follow the sight

in the now
my creation is in my hand
no time to mourn
the time it takes to understand
cause time is only a dream
and i’m almost awake
life will be what i make
here
in the now…

* * *

(?) - in the rain

in the rain (by deav)
Rio, Dez 2004 - Jan-Fev 2005
(?)

i'm licking the rain off my lips
as i walk on
i’m swallowing the rain that pours over me
as i drown

i can’t go back to pick the words i dropped on the road
i guess this line will go unfinished
i cant’ go back to pick up the days
like sand they’re gone
i let them run through my fingers

so i move ahead
there’s nothing i can do instead
so i move ahead
in the rain

i’m crawling up the walls
this heat is insane on my face
boiling blood runs through my veins
i’ll end up burning down this place

the moon has caught me in her tide
i sit and watch as worlds collide in me
somersaulting feelings slide
in this crowded ballroom inside of me

so i move ahead…

* * *

(?) - annie lorrie

annie lorrie (by deav)
Rio, Jan 2005
(?)

she was born on a rainy day
in her mama’s bed
for a midwife to welcome her
she had grandma and auntie instead

her big sister, golden hair in plaits
shed tears of joy, no more tears of sorrow
in the other room where she waits
for a new life to begin tomorrow

annie lorrie, annie lorrie
your dad has gone away
someday your brother will tell the story
of that so sad day

annie lorrie, annie lorrie
your name comes from a lovely tune
you’ll be happy, never sorry
the sun you rise up soon

* * *

demo # I

i finally got some songs recorded! the universe conspired in my favor (i'm eternally grateful): there were the carnival holidays, Mauro (my brother-in-law) was testing a Roland VS 880 until the end of th month, so three days of recording, ten songs, masterization next saturday, demo cd in my hands next monday. isn't it absofuckinlutely great? i was worried about a lot of things: that i would record them, in the first place, exposing myself, making it permanent, not just words in the wind, sang on the couch in the living room; that i would sound like Mickey Mouse, my voice was always high pitch (i used to be a soprano), but since the awakening, and listening to Ed Vedder on a daily basis, and a lot of blues and a lot of punk, my voice lowered a lot, and, thank the Goddess, i sound like a human being and an adult female :)) (i hope...). i'm buying the Roland (second hand...), the first achievement of my home studio/indie record company. it's such an amazing experience to actually witness a dream coming true right in front of your eyes... specially if it's your own dream!

running in slow motion

two more weeks until i'm free from the coordination position. at least one is a half week because of the carnival holidays. not that i'm too stressed, i'm learning how to handle it, but i'm more stressed than i like to be. and the result is writer's block, no song for a couple of months now, just pieces and bits of lyrics and melodies. i'm not completely frustrated because the RM Holiday Project is going fine, i've been enjoying pleasant hours planning, cutting, gluing, sewing and even weaving tiny little things to go on my page. i'm really proud of my little tree house and all the items that go inside, especially the tiny carpet and and the tiny songbooks you can actually read from. i'll have to borrow a digital camera, because i intend to photograph everything before i send the page to J. the major thing yet to be done is the recording, an essencial part of the project.

the RM itself is a major relief. it seems i get to like being there more and more each day. it kind of distracts me from work... maybe too much... a habit?

ah, and i got my 10C booklet with my membership card by the beginning of January. i guess i'll have to hold back my catching up fever, because of the huge vacation. btw, reservations have been made! May 21st until July 1st!

things keep on being blue, in the Brazilian way, meaning, everything is fine, like a clear blue sky.